Jessica and Brayden's Wedding

One of my best friends, Jessica Flynn, got married to the love of her life, Brayden Wood last night on Friday, June 7, 2013 (6/7/13 because 6 + 7=13).  Jess and I have known each other since high school and we've remained close friends ever since, which I know is rare once people move on with college and whatnot so I treasure her friendship a lot.  Jess is not just one of my best friends but she's also been one of my greatest supporters in everything I've ever done in life.  She was beyond thrilled for me when I first got the job at Disney, was very curious about this guy named Dave who was interested in me, and lent me a shoulder to cry on and uplifted my sad spirits when I returned to Fayetteville after Dave's death.  She was one of the first people that I told when I felt God leading me back to Orlando last month and last night, I got to stand with her and seven other girls at Mt. Sequoyah as she and Brayden promised their love and commitment to each other.

I know many people have wondered why in the world I would put myself through that after everything that happened to me.  Jess asked me to be a bridesmaid back in the fall (via a Ring Pop in a little box with a note that said "will you be my bridesmaid?") and not only was I excited but Dave was too.  He right away said "do it, they're an awesome couple and that'll definitely give us a good excuse to take off work and go to their wedding if you're in it."  Dave had only met Jess and Brayden once but we all had such a fun time together and he could see why I love hanging out with Jess.  We immediately put their date on the calendar and planned to be there.

After Dave passed away, Jess and her mom Liz contacted me and asked me several times if I was sure that I still wanted to do this and gave me the option of backing out.  I almost considered it because I knew everyone would understand and I didn't know if I would be ready or not.  But after thinking it through, I told Jess I still wanted to do it.  Maybe it was slightly too soon but it's also another Band Aid that I would need to rip off eventually, I can't avoid weddings for the rest of my life.  So why not take a risk and see how things go.  Plus, Jess had been such a good friend to me and Dave thought so highly of her that I almost felt that it'd be a dishonor to him if I wasn't standing up there with her.  So I took the risk this weekend and boy am I so glad I did!  Jess checked on me a few times and asked me if I was still okay and each time, I answered with true honesty and said that it was slightly bittersweet but I was having so much fun with the other girls and being in that wedding mode again.  It's refreshing to see someone so happy in life, it makes me want to continue to be happy as well.

The ceremony was only hard for me at one point and that was during communion because the song that was played was "Beautiful Things" by Gungor.  That same song was played at Dave's service because it was one of his favorites and held a deep meaning to him and his life.  But after a minute, I looked down at my Dave tattoo, then I looked up slightly to the sky and I swear I saw Dave smiling at me.  I felt at that moment, God was saying that He is making my life beautiful before my very eyes and look how far I've already come after three months.  If He can make beautiful things out of dust, I know He's making all things in my life beautiful once again.  Jess later came up to me and almost apologized for using that song and I told her to not feel that way, God used that bittersweet moment and turned it into a beautiful promise, not just for me but for her as well.

I survived my first wedding "post Dave" and what a wonderful day it was!  I can't help but be happy at weddings, especially when I think of the beautiful wedding that I had with Dave and how that was one of his last events in his life and thank God he got to experience that.  And yes, I'm sure that one day I will fall in love again and be able to have another wonderful (but completely different) day of love and celebration.  Until that day comes, I'm focused on my life as it is now and the adventurous, unpredictable path I'm taking.  Dave always said to treat everything in life as one big adventure, it just makes it more fun that way.  So I'm doing just that and relying on him to help me stay on track.

Congratulations Jess and Brayden, thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your special day.  It was such an honor and I truly had so much fun with both of you this weekend.  You've helped me move along even further in this process of acceptance and moving on with my life.