Once again, one of Kate's late night blogs. I'm telling you, I can't be normal and function during the day like other people, I always have these urges to write in the middle of the night. Dunno why but that's when I do most of my deep thinking. Mostly, I felt compelled to write because I realized I haven't written since I made my move back to Orlando and lots of people are asking how I've been since coming back here. Obviously, most everyone is expecting me to have some rough days ahead, I am of course back in the city where Dave and I first began, I'm back in the area where we had our first and only home together, and I'm back where he took his last breath, left his earthly possessions behind, and made his way to his heavenly home. Right now, I'm staying in Oviedo, which is right next to Orlando, and I'm living with a family that knew Dave really well and loved him since the day they met him at University Carillon Church. They said I could stay with them until I hear results from my auditions and can finalize my living situation. And they're not the only ones that offered a place for me to stay, many of my and Dave's friends have stepped up and said they'll help me in whatever I need. Talk about awesome, generous people in my life! I don't have my car down here yet either so my in laws lent me their pickup truck until my parents bring my car and the rest of my stuff. Yep, that's right, this girl is driving a truck right now. How Arkansan of me, right?
I had my orientation at Universal for HHN last Wednesday so I'm officially back there :) Rehearsals will start in about a week and a half and the event will premiere in a month. I can't wait to do this, I've heard it's so much fun! I've done a few other auditions, many which haven't worked out and that's definitely expected in entertainment. But they're all the types of auditions that include a type out, which means they need people of certain height and certain size for the roles they're currently looking for. So at least it has nothing to do with my skill levels, I can't control my height or build lol. Although for a few weeks, with the exception of a Royal Caribbean audition in Hollywood, FL, I'm going to take a step back from auditions until I hear results from the ones I've already done. I've done my part for now so I'll wait and see what God wants to do with me next. If Royal Caribbean doesn't work out, I'll go back to Orlando and continue auditioning until the next project comes along. An entertainer's life is unpredictable and very unstable at times but I've never been one to play it safe (except when I played Red Rover in elementary school). I'm also apartment hunting and I've got a couple of prospects. Now it's just a matter of figuring out finances and which location will be most convenient. I'm not lying when I say I'm starting from scratch. It's not easy and it's frustrating at times but I also have to remember that I didn't bring this upon myself, life happened, it was out of my control, and I had to start at the bottom again.
However, I already see progress in my life. I was reading my blog from April when I talked about Dave's death and where I was at that moment in life. I believe I said something along the lines of "I'm back in Arkansas and just waiting to see what God wants me to do next." Little did I know that four and a half months later, I'd be back in Orlando, back at Universal, and reunited with old friends! Last night, when hanging out with some friends, I realized that it's almost been six months since Dave passed away. That's half a year! A part of me feels like it just happened but another part of me feels like that was a lifetime ago. My friends then pointed out how much I've changed and look at what all I've done in these past six months. I've done more auditions this summer than I have in the past five years and I forgot how much I love performing and feeling that anticipation of an audition and that excitement of a callback.
People have told me that one day, I would see some good come out of Dave's death. Don't get me wrong, I miss him every day and if given the chance to have him back, I would. But I'm already seeing the light in all of this. Had this not happened, I probably wouldn't have come back to Orlando. Had this not happened, I wouldn't be able to do any of these auditions and get that experience and knowledge that comes with it. And had this not happened, I would still be worrying about everything in life and trying to take control. I have no control over ANYTHING in life, that's all in God's hands. So even though some days are frustrating, I also know God will not leave me hanging. He has me back in Orlando for many reasons and slowly but surely I will figure out those reasons. But for now, I'm grateful that I have a job that will last me through the beginning of November and I have a huge support system both here and in Arkansas. So if I'm already seeing this much good in a short amount of time, I can only imagine what I will discover for years to come.
Once again, I've consistently had a song stuck in my head for the past week I've been in Orlando. That's definitely how God knows I'll listen to Him, through music (one of many things Dave and I had in common). It's called "By Faith" by Keith and Kristyn Getty. By faith, I left a secure life in Arkansas and came back to Orlando. By faith, I'm trusting that God will provide for me in all the ways needed. And by faith, since March 8, I continued to pray and live my life one day at a time, knowing there's a reason I'm still here because as the song says "til the race is finished and the work is done, we'll walk by faith and not by sight." If at any time anyone struggles with a decision in life, listen to this song and walk by faith. You can never go wrong with prayer, it will never ever fail you.
"By Faith"
By faith we see the hand of God
In the light of creation's grand design
In the lives of those who prove His faithfulness
Who walk by faith and not by sight
By faith our fathers roamed the earth
With the power of His promise in their hearts
Of a holy city built by God's own hand
A place where peace and justice reign
We will stand as children of the promise
We will fix our eyes on Him our soul's reward
Till the race is finished and the work is done
We'll walk by faith and not by sight
By faith the prophets saw a day
When the longed-for Messiah would appear
With the power to break the chains of sin and death
And rise triumphant from the grave
By faith the church was called to go
In the power of the Spirit to the lost
To deliver captives and to preach good news
In every corner of the earth
We will stand as children of the promise
We will fix our eyes on Him our soul's reward
Till the race is finished and the work is done
We'll walk by faith and not by sight
By faith this mountain shall be moved
And the power of the gospel shall prevail
For we know in Christ all things are possible
For all who call upon His name
We will stand as children of the promise
We will fix our eyes on Him our soul's reward
Till the race is finished and the work is done
We'll walk by faith and not by sight
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