Last Sunday was already tough for some people because of the murder of Christina Grimmie, which happened at the Plaza theatre in downtown. Orlando was already making headlines so when I woke up on Sunday morning and saw news of the shooting, I wasn't fazed at first because I thought I already knew all of this information. Then I saw the headline "at least 20 dead" and I redirected my eyes back to the article. This wasn't at the Plaza, this was at Pulse, another local hot spot. And this wasn't on Friday night, this was just a few hours ago. And now, we are not just talking about Christina, we are talking about 20 other innocent lives senselessly taken, which later turned into 49 lives. I immediately turned on my TV and sure enough, it was not a sick joke. My city was making international headlines for something so horrific. My first instinct was to text my immediate family members before they heard about this and let them know I was safe. I had been downtown at an event the night before, which wasn't anywhere near Pulse, but I knew my mother would worry regardless. I updated Facebook to give my friends a sense of peace as well and while I was scrolling through my newsfeed, I saw that one of my former coworkers from Universal had been at the club and was missing. I kept in touch with people all day to know his status and if he'd been found. I also kept checking the victims list for fear that his name would appear on there. Unfortunately, when I checked the list the next morning, all of our worst fears came true. Our sassy Diego friend, Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, was listed as a confirmed death at the age of 35.
My emotions had already been running high the day before but something changed when I saw Xavier's name. I was already disgusted with the gunman but now, I got angrier. Not for myself but for his loved ones and most of all, his son. How could this guy be so cruel and kill him and 48 others for no reason? Xavier is a father and you took that boy's father away from him! You took him away from his parents, you took him from his best friend, you took him from the fun life he had here. I had to go to work that day and I was desperate to get there and talk to people, to comfort those who were also mourning the loss of Xavier, to hug those who almost went to Pulse that night and decided at the last minute not to go. Just to be together with my entertainment family because we knew we were going to have some tough days ahead of us. We weren't just observing the loss of these victims, we were now living this nightmare with their loved ones. And this was the time to stand beside them and let them know that we are grieving with them and are here to help.
Which brings me to my conviction I mentioned earlier. Being raised a Southern Baptist, I've always been taught the more conservative way of life. And there is nothing wrong with that! What is wrong is ignorance and hatred, which I thankfully wasn't taught thanks to my loving parents. However, being around a lot of conservative people, I felt peer pressure to think a certain way at times. I was asked in a Sunday school class one time if I believe that being gay was a choice or something you're born with. I knew the answer they wanted and that's what I gave them so I wouldn't get in trouble. I was also asked on a separate occasion to sign a petition to ban gay couples from adopting in the state of Arkansas. I felt like eyes were on me so I hesitantly did it to avoid judgement. Before I go on, I will say that I love Jesus and I believe in His teachings, which does include some controversial things in the Bible. BUT, I also believe in loving people and allowing them to live their life in peace. I have always loved the LBGT community but there have been times where I was afraid to stand up for them because I was worried about what people from the church would say to me. That conviction has been in my heart all week. I can't be silent anymore, the hatred has to stop. I love my church, I love my gay friends, I love the Hispanic community, and I love the Muslims. It is not my job to tell you how to live your life, there's always going to be somebody that disagrees with how you live (some probably disagree with my way of living) but ultimately, whatever life you live should be one filled with love and compassion. No one should have to worry about getting shot at a nightclub because of their orientation, religion, political views, or ethnicity. So I believe God put it on my heart this week to tell my friends in the LBGT community that I'm sorry. I have always loved you but I haven't been bold enough for you. And I'm sorry for those who have hurt you. I have met so many gay people that want to come to church but they are so afraid of how people would react. Based on the comments my pastor has made in the media this week, I will tell you for a fact that you and anybody else are welcome at First Baptist Orlando. I will go with you and if for some reason somebody gives you crap, you just tell me and I will straighten them out :) and to my Christian brothers and sisters, I am so proud of the way we have stood united this week in reaching out to all of these communities to make sure they're okay. I believe this is the beginning of breaking whatever barriers are still present. We can all have our views on everything in life and we can agree to disagree. But it's a matter of doing it with love and compassion.
Speaking of love and compassion, this is where my pride comes in. I just want to say how awesome the city of Orlando has been this week. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw people lining up to donate blood and waiting up to 11 hours! Perfect strangers from out of town were driving to Orlando to give people food and water as they waited in line. Churches, including mine, were stepping forward to offer funerals for free and grief counseling services for any victims and their families. Cities from all over the world began displaying the pride flag and colors of the rainbow on all of their monuments to show that they are standing with us and are here to help. Even Chick-fil-A opened their doors on a Sunday and made free food and drinks for everybody waiting to donate blood! I don't know where this quote came from but it sums up this whole situation: Orlando is humanity at its worst, the response has been humanity at its best.
With the worlds' eyes on Orlando right now, it's still heartbreaking but at the same time, I've never been so proud to live in the city beautiful. We are taking a stand and saying that this senseless act is not going to change who we are. It's going to take some time and when the rest of the world goes back to their normal lives, we will still have a long road of recovery ahead of us. But I believe these acts of kindness and many rainbows in the sky are God's way of showing His protection to us and I know He is so happy to see the way we're treating each other. Let's keep this going Otown, let's keep being kind to each other no matter our beliefs. You would be surprised at how much you can connect and relate to somebody regardless of differences. I struck up a conversation with a woman from the Church of Scientology last night at the Lake Eola vigil and we bonded over our love of cute blouses. I guarantee you this woman, Crystal, and I don't agree on a lot of things but she had such a sweet spirit so it was hard to not smile and laugh right along with her.
Just be kind to everybody and get to know people for who they truly are. Muslims, gays, Christians, Scientologists, Republicans, Democrats, Green party, Jews, blacks, whites, Hispanics, Asians, and so on. At the end of the day, everyone's got a pulse, we are all loved by God, and our views on certain issues do not have to change how we treat each other. We are showing this world that we can put aside our differences and be united. We are Orlando strong and we will survive!
If you were still looking to help, here are a few websites for fundraisers. Some of them sell cute shirts and who doesn't love that? :) I also included Xavier's fund (second link) for his funeral and son's college savings if you are able to donate to that as well. Thank you world, your generosity will never be forgotten!
http://www.goallday.com/products/orlando-strong-fundraiser-womens-tank-multiple-color-orlandostrong?utm_source=notify&utm_medium=notification&variant=22764017991
https://www.gofundme.com/29ew68k
https://www.booster.com/orlando-strong
https://www.gofundme.com/PulseVictimsFund
https://www.oneorlando.org/
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